Dominance and submission, otherwise recognized as the D/s relationship, is a power put on an individual by another individual. A slang term for dominance and submission is play. This practice of domination and submission may also be seen in a BDSM lifestyle relationship. One who practices dominance and submission may be a Dominant or submissive. Dominance and submission is not limited to physical encounters; it can be a mental decision.Prepare to be astounded.
Do not punish yourself if you are distracted by thoughts of control as this is entirely normal and to be expected.
If you are distracted by thoughts of control, do not punish yourself. This is entirely normal and to be expected.
If you notice yourself becoming anxious or upset about your lack of control, try to tune in to what is happening in your body at that moment. Are you feeling a tightness in your chest? Are you holding your breath? Is there a pain somewhere in your body? Perhaps you feel hot or cold, tingly or numb. Wherever you feel it, try to breathe into it and let it go.
You may find it helpful to say “thank you” internally when things go well and “I am sorry” internally when things go wrong. This can help take the edge off feelings of guilt or shame that might arise when trying not to think about controlling situations.
Remember: You will never be perfect at this! If a thought comes up while doing this exercise, just notice it and come back to focusing on your breathing as soon as possible. The more often we practice not thinking about controlling situations (and thus letting go), the easier it becomes over time.
You can use your hands to help you stay in control.
You can use your hands to help you stay in control.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a situation, and when that happens it’s tempting to forget about the basics of driving. Holding the steering wheel at ten and two o’clock is one of those basics; it helps you keep the car straight and prevent accidents.
If you’re on a curvy road, try counting to five over and over again while you’re driving. This will help keep your mind from drifting off onto other things.
Remembering to check your mirrors every so often can help keep your eyes back on the road ahead.
When approaching an intersection, take note of what’s around you before stepping on the gas pedal or slowing down too much.
You can use your hands to help you stay in control.
1. If you have a problem with the upper hand, try this: Place a tennis ball on a table or desk and put your hand on top of it. Gently squeeze the ball, then release, then squeeze again. Do this several times until you feel your hands relax and stop trembling.
2. You can also try holding a glass or cup of water or other beverage with both hands to help keep them from shaking. If you’re feeling nervous about something, try practicing this for a few minutes before you need to do it so that when the time comes you’ll be ready to do it calmly and easily.
These techniques can help you gain control over the uncontrollable and forget about how much you are enjoying this type of sexual activity.
If you have a problem with compulsive sexual behavior, you can use the following techniques to help gain control over the uncontrollable and forget about how much you are enjoying this type of sexual activity.
1. Use the “stop-start” technique
The first step is to identify when your addictive behavior is likely to occur. You might find that it happens at certain times or in certain places, such as when you’re alone or in front of a computer screen. Once you know when it’s likely to happen, try to stop yourself from acting on it by using the “stop-start” technique:
Stop yourself before doing anything that could hurt someone else or get you into trouble. This can be useful if you’re at risk of going too far with an addiction like pornography or cybersex.
Start again when you’re ready to try again later on the same day or another day, depending on how strong your urge was and how long it lasts for. If possible, do something else instead that doesn’t involve your addiction (like going for a walk).
2. Use distraction techniques
Distraction techniques are effective because they allow time for your urges to pass by giving your mind something else to focus on instead of them! Here are some examples:
You may feel that your senses are heightened and you cannot focus on anything other than the sensation of being controlled by another person.
Some people enjoy the feeling of being controlled by another person. It can be a very intense, erotic experience. The more you know about it, the better your chances are that it will be a positive experience.
Being controlled is not the same as being dominated. Being dominated means that one person has more power than another, and often that this power is used to manipulate or exploit someone else in some way. Being controlled is about giving up control, which can be very empowering for both parties involved!
Being controlled can be incredibly arousing for many people, but not all. For others, it can be scary and even painful (depending on what kind of control is involved). If you want to try being controlled with a partner but are unsure if it’s something you’re comfortable with, start slow and easy by exploring what kinds of things turn you on directly first (such as bondage or blindfolds) before introducing any kind of roleplay or fantasy scenarios into the mix.
If you want to explore being controlled by someone else in a sexual way but aren’t sure how to start or where to go from here (or if you have any questions), feel free to send me an email at [email protected]
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